Days

Some days I dread the mornings. While others I dread the nights.

I'll wake up on some mornings, feel refreshed and eager for the night, usually a weekend. Then sometimes I wish the night will never end while others I want to end as soon as possible.

Weekdays on the other hand, I tend to dread the nights, knowing that once I sleep I'll wake up for the next day and it's a pretty simple routine.

It's funny how days go. You're really never satisfied for any day, mostly because you know it will happen every day.

What happens if there's one morning where it doesn't? Isn't there a reason why we call the present the present?

A simple rose

As I was sitting in my room, by myself since all of my roommates were at class and I had the day off. My Big, Anna, arrived through the door with a rose and I was like "Ooh, who's it from?" And she replied with "Theta Chi was giving them out." 

Their message on the rose was to tell every woman on campus that no matter what, they are beautiful. I know from my Big giving me one, it made my day just a little brighter. 

These are reasons why I enjoy smiling through the hallways, saying hello to random people every once in a while, because I know just a simple thing can truly make someone's day better. 

Speeches

I love to talk but of course when it's front of people I get nervous and shake a ton.

Hopefully from taking comm I'll learn a lot and lean to calm the fuck down. I freak out about the littlest of speeches unless it's fir a presentation. But in the end I can only improve.

Of course I just had a speech. I think I get nervous about telling my life since I'm not open to expressing a whole lot of my life and forget annoy things.

Mornings

My day started off with waking up at the usual eight in the morning. Even though I don't have class until eleven-thirty, I like to drink a cup of coffee and watch an episode of Doctor Who for a good hour. Then slowly get ready.

It's pretty relaxing since I have two hours to get dressed and ready for class.

But if there are times where I feel like sleeping in, I know I have an hour or two to waste for sleeping.

It's a pretty good routine.

Then off to class I go! Where I learn some stuff and dread Comm.

Oh Monday morning, no bueno.

A relief.

From time to time, my responsibilities lack. There are times where I just don't feel like doing absolutely anything and I fail. That definitely happened last week. Having only two classes, both on Tuesday and Thursday, I struggled to find any motivation to go to class and do work. Everything slipped my mind. Luckily there were no huge assignments and I think I did pretty okay on my test. I own up to it and hope I don't make the same mistakes again.

But in the end, a break was seriously needed.

All Monsters Are Human

American Horror Story.

A show that's so intense, horrific, weird, and awesome. 

Everyone on Tumblr always talks about this show and I decided that it was on Netflix so I might as well just watch it. And of course I fell in love with it.

The way this show perceives life and horrible events. I can't even fathom it. Like for the image, "all monsters are humans" it's when the teenage girl in the first season is trying to express to the dead teenage boy, Tate, that he is a monster but his come back is all monsters are humans. 

We are the monsters, we create destruction, we begin war, we live in a hateful world. It would be nice to say that we live in a peaceful world and war is necessary but in the end, it's destruction.  

Reminiscing on some old jams

The other day, I decided to check the ancient site of Myspace (it's still around). I wanted to see if I would still be interested in the music I used to listen to. Guess what, I still love it. I totally forgot about a few bands, and many songs. 

It's been so long, I used to listen to Cute Is What We Aim For, Augustana, The Academy Is..., and so many more back in the day. Well like five years ago but you get the point. 

These were the bands that helped get me through some hard times and helped me celebrate some great times. 

I don't think I'll ever forget these bands ever again, I even wrote them down. They will always be in my heart and in my ears.

“There is an engine in my body. With every beat, it lets me breathe. There is a machine within my body. If I can keep up with that machine that’s in my body, I can do anything. Be anything, Say anything. I can feel the beat within my body.”

—	Cute Is What We Aim For — Do What You Do

Keegs

There has always been one thing I've always wanted to be, it had to happen before I died. Which was, become an aunt. I always knew I wanted to be there for someone and show him or her the ways of life, and be the cool aunt that would help them be crazy, but with a tad of responsibility I suppose.

This little kid, Keegan, was born in September with some issues but being the champ he is, he made it through and is laughing and making tons of fun faces. He's such a joy.

He's mainly the reason why I get homesick since I can't see him progress through his day. I always look forward to see him.

I know he'll be an awesome kid when he gets older. He shall be a stud, and his cool aunt will help and be an amazing role model.

No drugs Keegs.

Oh Hallows Eve

I love looking back at pictures that I took with some amazing people. For instance, this picture. It was Halloween night, probably about the fifth time I went out, it was a blast.

We went to about five apartments, one we got kicked out of, this one was the last one I believe. Me all snazzed up in a nerd outfit with a little fun, certainly meant I was on a mission to have a good time, which is exactly what happened. I successfully had a great night that night, and met an amazing person.

 Oh the joy. We played so many fun games, relived some moments.

Of course it wasn't just us, there were other people and we all hung out and a great time.

Life

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if things were stressful. Like if college was so much more at ease, tests were no big deal and finals were pretty much as easy as breathing. Lately, assignments have been pretty simple, tedious, but simple. I just hate doing them. But if I don't do them, I can't get a good grade. I won't be able to graduate or if I do I won't be able to go to grad school. Then I'll end up living off the system or being homeless. Then I'll amount to nothing and be no one. Oh how life is. So stressfull and hard.

Being sick

See, being sick at home is fine. You're able to lock yourself in your room, come out every once in a while and sleep all day (usually because you're in high school and it's much easier to stay at home and just do everything you needed to do the next day). Well in college, you should go to class even when you're dying of the black plague. It sucks, but it's what you have to do to. All last semester I would skip class because I felt like it and this semester it frightened me to miss class because I was actually sick and could barely get out of bed. Oh how times have changed. Well now I got out of bed for one class, just one, and that's English. I have to get out f bed for an 11:30 class, pray it ends early and go back to bed. That's the game plan.

Merr.

Oh the good ole days. The days that were worry free and I felt accomplished just for smiling. Of course I don't remember when this picture was taken, well really the moment it occurred. I just see myself smiling with a tacky headband, a dress with annoying polka dot, a chair that seems pretty rough and why the hell is that balloon facing that direction? Like was the photographer even paying attention?! I was a cute baby, dammmnn. Those days were oh so simple. Didn't even know the world revolved around the son, for all I know, I thought it revolved around that big ass balloon. Like seriously, that balloon is like two-times my size, that isn't normal. But oh wells.

The life of a baby...

Bigs!

Bigs: In a sorority or fraternity, a big is given to an individual who is then a little. Someone who watches over their little like a big sister or brother.

I am lucky to have both!

My Big, Anna, is a fellow Kappa Delta like me. She is very small and so much fun. She is truly the best Big and I am lucky she is mine she takes care of me, talks to me, we live together.

As for my guy Big, Scott, he is a Phi Kappa Tau. Him and I were drunk and along with the other girl, a girl in my house. We all decided to be a family and he became our Big. He is truly another amazing person I am grateful to have in my life. He also takes me and he's a great person to talk to.

I have awesome Bigs!

Stairs and Ice

I literally have the worst luck imaginable.

 I for some reason started crying on Saturday night about some guy and decided it was best to run out of the house to another fraternity. Well because I was running and there was snow on the ground, I ended up falling down a flight of stairs. Oh boy did it hurt. It still hurts days after. I don't like it. I am bruised from my neck to the back of my thighs.

Then later I thought I could walk on ice without worry, nope, turns out I can't. I ended up falling. So I decided to just sit there and think about my life for about five minutes. It was a pretty painful night.

Looking back

It's crazy to think that I'm out of high school and now in college.

As I look back at graduation I realize it technically never hit me. I went about my day like nothing was important, just dreading the family dinner afterwards since my parents absolutely despise each other and I knew it was not going to be a good time.

I went tough rehearsal just thinking about food and possibly finding some sort of entertainment for this horrible event. Pretty sure I should have been drunk. It would have made everything better.

Graduation came, I walked down the stupid walk way in the Idaho Center and just dreaded it. With my last name starting with an R, I knew I had to sit there for an hour or two.

Oh graduation,  how I barely remember you and only remember how much I despised ya. Now I'm in college and don't give two fucks. #Yolo bitch.