4/23

Hi, I know I am not a perfect best friend for you. I don’t always treat you lunch, nor I am not the “easy-go-lucky” type. I am not always good-looking. I am just a girl who always have messy hair, not-so-good ambiance, or I am not physically attractive. Like what we always see in movies, I am the weird one and you’re the pretty and hot one. You’re the one who always have boys at your back. And I am just someone who look like your nanny. But you know what? I thank you so much for being there for me every time. I thank you for being the one who always offers their shoulder for me to cry on. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have a friend like you. Thank you for being my best friend. My bests of all friends.

4/22

Everytime I find the perfect man, no one can compare to him. I need to stop trying, he isn't perfect. No guy is.

Dear Me,

Stop waiting for the perfect boy. Stop waiting for your dream guy. He will not come, he is not here either. There’s no such thing as fairy tale and happy endings. There’s no such thing as once upon a time and prince charming. Your life isn’t a book or a novel which give us fantasies. Your life isn’t a 80s movie which drift us away from reality. If you push him away, he’ll not come back. Stop expecting that you’ll be treated as a princess. Stop expecting that your life will be full of happy moments and good ending. Be realistic. Stop assuming and expecting.

4/19

I care about everything. I care about how you feel, and what you hate. I may not show it, but when you’re hurting, I’m hurting. I get so upset when I think that I could have caused you any grief. I’m so proud of you. For everything. I’m Sorry that I’m irrational, exasperating, and completely out of my mind sometimes. I apologize. I want you to know that I need you, yet I find myself trying so hard to make you see how amazing you are, how you could do so much better than me, you deserve someone more whole than me, yet you stay…and that means more than you could ever know. Could it really be love?

4/18

I’m laying here thinking, hoping really, that I am enough. I hope I’m enough for you, because I’ve fallen deeper in love than I thought I ever could. I’ve realized that love isn't fairy tales and flowers; it’s snorting with laughter and hiccuping with tears. Love is funny like that. Sometimes, I’m completely frustrated with your lack of words, but then I look at you with your sleepy eyes like tonight, protesting the moment that I had to leave, and I feel it. That feeling that I get every time I get a chance to look at you, really look at you with your golden eyelashes, it’s a mixture of joy and curiosity. I’m happy that I can call you mine, but curious as to whether you feel the same, because love is wondering what’s going on in your head, but really never finding out. It’s tight hugs when I feel like I’ve been beaten beyond repair. It’s maybe doing something just to make the other person happy, or being able to rant. Rant about nothing, everything, cheese Danishes, who cares?! I care. 

4/17

My brother and I, though two opposite sexes and body shapes, look scarily alike. If I were a boy I’m pretty sure I would just be a skinnier version of the goofy big brother I adore so much. Not every sibling duo is like this but I personally know many that are. Maybe I have a keen eye for catching subtle differences or maybe animators really were being lazy! I’m just super tired of everyone bashing this movie because it was splendid and made me feel like having depression and anxiety is not something that should control me.

There is so much good to this movie that I despise that people are getting hooked to all the bad.

4/16

I thought this was a fantastic female morale boosting movie that had all sorts of lovely elements from previous Disney films mashed into one. But many people don’t care and all just want to complain about the character designs. PS. Elsa and Anna are NOT exactly the same.

Besides the differing hair color, eye color, dress, and hairstyles, these girls have unique faces that at first glance do seem frighteningly similar. But look closer. Our cute little Anna has a darker complexion, freckles, and what’s this? A chubbier face, longer chin, rounder, perkier nose, higher and thicker brows, different eye shape, and different lip location than her sister. Anna’s face is generally more baby shaped than her sister’s who is, by the way, only three years older! Yes, I am disappointed one of these ladies didn’t get their father’s fabulous nose, but they do have individual characteristics. Remember Elsa and Anna are sister’s only three years apart. Tops.

4/15

But you know what, even though you hurt me. Even though you don’t appreciate me or maybe you don’t know me anymore, I still miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss how you call me our endearments sweetly, I miss your sweet messages, your being over-protective, your kisses, I miss everything about us. I hope and pray we’ll still be together, forever.
It's time to walk away and find someone better. One day I'll be able to remember everything and not be hurt by it, but until then I'll just have to live in my imaginary world and attempt to fall in love with someone else.